I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
