Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
