Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
