I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
