did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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