she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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