Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
