dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
