i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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