Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
