Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk is not a location!
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