a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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