I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
