Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
