I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
