Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
