You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
