i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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