My room smells like vodka and shame
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
