I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you made out with another girl for some wings
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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