Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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