Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize