hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
