dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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