just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
how do flat chested girls get laid?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
