He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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