so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
