why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
