Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
