Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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