I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
