another moral hangover. fuck.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
