nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
