He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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