I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
