Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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