She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
