so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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