Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
two words...techno handjob
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
