i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
