There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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