3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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