did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
