Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize