Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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