Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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