I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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