I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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