I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Michael Bay diarrhea
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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