Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
