I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
