i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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