But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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