she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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