i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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