I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
