I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
