And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
