Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The ass gains better be worth it
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