i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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