The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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