she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
