Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
