wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
