I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
