he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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