going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Text me some of your sweat
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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