What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
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I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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